A few years ago I started a valentine’s day blog series see here . I was single then, still single now and I find writing about a singles guide yearly therapeutic. The blog write-up is a way to have readers drop their comments and recommendations.
This year I promised that I was going to tell a story. In 2018 I had promised to do away with being single, and that I would do a couple’s guide to spending valentines but God had better plans for me. However, towards the end of last year, I wanted to force his hands by entering into a relationship, I should never have started. By January 2nd I was single again (I never consider relationships that last three weeks dating) this time not looking to mingle, and I was satisfied being single.
I believe my need for a relationship stemmed from not having a valentines gift all my adult life, and I wanted to experience what that would feel like (I guess I will email myself flowers), also I was turning 25. However, I do not regret any of my decisions, and I got a few tips on how to spend yours.
Be ready to become single: I remember having this long conversation with a friend, and her narrating a valentines experience. Her boyfriend would usually break up with her on valentines day to shy away from the responsibility of purchasing a valentines gift but would reconcile a week after the valentines celebration were over.
A scenario such as the one above, may not be your situation but in your heart, the one you’re with isn’t the one. It is important to re-evaluate peoples positions in your life on days like valentines day, to enable you to move ahead and seek better opportunities.
Write a letter and mail a box of Chocolates to yourself: I wrote a letter to myself last year, and I intend to do so this year. In addition to the letter, you could add a box of chocolates and sweet treats (very corny to say the least), reminding you that “you can do bad all by yourself.
Pick a fun movie (about ‘love’), and criticize some of the famous lines with your friends: There would be no denying that some of our famous ideas/lines on love from romantic movies, have been falsified by our own real-life experiences; Watching a fun movie on Valentines day provides an opportunity to call the bluff, on those famous lines, through personal narrative.
Invite a best friend over a male/female to binge watch shows like grownish /black mirror: I saw a tweet, a few weeks back about someone who had just left a bad relationship and invited her male friend to look over her space while she was away (long story short) he ended up being her spouse.
There are different ways to shoot your shot without being needy or ratchet (I don’t have the recipe)however, the above scenario may be helpful to help you navigate your own experience.
Game Night with your single friends: I believe if you have sane friends, game nights can become an absolute delight, with food and drinks to make the night merry.
It’s a Thursday Valentine, you won’t be missing out on much: I believe Valentine’s day gets unbearable when it falls on a weekend ( which is usually a 7 or 12-year interval ). This year Valentine falls on a weekday, so be single and go about your usual routine. Wear a bright red if you must and if that makes you feel good.
Gift Exchange: Part of the reason why Valentine’s day gets cranky for most of us is the idea of gift packages. Think of friends who are single like you and who you appreciate and get them something praiseworthy.
A quick getaway to a spot not far from home: Due to Valentine’s day falling on a Thursday, there are strong probabilities of people extending their celebration to a Saturday (at least that was my plan before I became single) smh
Join a dating app (please not Tinder):Subscribing for a dating app has to be a lender of last resort. However, the 21st-century climate makes this tip a great one. I will also advise that tinder is out of the question, and I recommend apps like Hinge and Bumble.
Listen to a Podcast: Podcast has certified its place in the online world, by allowing unique content providers to upload programming on different subjects. Listen to a ‘love’ podcast that expands your knowledge about present-day love trends.
Stay off social media, if you cannot handle the heat: Social media can hurt you on Valentine’s day if you have a frail heart (like fuel is to fire). Honestly, this advice is for me (won’t listen still), but from proposals to gifts, you may start to rethink, self-love.
Jesus loves you. The love of Jesus trumps any advice I may have suggested above. I know this may sound Cliche, but Christ set an example of what love is by dying on the cross for you and I. Christ was aware of our unfaithfulness but remained faithful to us.
Finally, it is ok to want love (please if you are above 20) and the feeling it brings, love yourself too while at it and do not settle.
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