So I decided on this post, to provide an outlet to vent out how I feel on the inside, knowing someone was going to read and relate to it. I am an extrovert, or am I? People tend to see me as one, heck my dad sees me as one, but truth is I’ve never considered myself an extrovert.
Extroverts go through a lot of challenges, one which many of their friends and associates never feel adds up to their persona. To the world an extrovert has life figured out, that may be, because we share our experiences in exaggerated terms. We tend to talk, laugh and share a bit more than your regular person.
For extroverts like myself, (if I’m to accept the box I’ve been put in ) people tend not to take us to seriously until they see the worse side of our personalities show up and they kind of understand we are humans too. This is the beginning of many of our troubles, not knowing how to balance the beautiful emotions of our lives. We are too happy or too sad, no where in between and the story continues.
We also tend to say up how we feel about anything and everything and for a female (like me), that may be pretty bad and considered forthcoming. For example, if I met anyone lets say a male, in the first week, I already consider us friends. So we start a conversation second week and then I go “I miss you“, because I genuinely do. World people (Nigerian slang) have said don’t do that, so I am considered trouble and then he misinterprets my words as a hit on him and then he runs. I do this with female friends too and their reaction is likely similar, they get into much of their feelings and see you as a nuisance. (grateful or my bed and space)
This brings me then to my second or third point, we just never seem to be the date-able or marriageable ones. Its either we are too outspoken to be single or too outspoken to be considered for a date, so we are on the loosing end of both streaks.
Unknowingly to some people, we suffer from depression, because we pretty much try to talk a lot to ignore it, laugh a lot to play it off or make people laugh to fill in the gaps in our own lives. Then we get to this point where we are helpless in our own situation but cant call out for help because hey, who takes us seriously? (I’m a bit lucky to have people around me who value how I feel)
We have our insecurities: Everyone thinks we have life figured out, but we have our own insecurities, maybe more than people can visually conjure in their minds, I’ll be doing a blog post after this about my insecurities so watch out.
I am pretty sure by now the my whole graduate class knows me as the girl who talks a bit much, uncoordinated-Ly and to anyone. I’m unsure as to if this was the reputation I intended to create coming to America, but I guess we can’t really suppress who we really are.
Yes I am open and initiate interactions and often make people feel comfortable with sharing their live experiences with me, but on a general basis I love to be alone and my happy moments are usually with myself. I have thoughts and sometimes they run wild and dark and in my quiet moments I relish and act out who I think I am and then go out to the world and assume a different persona.
Today’s write up is a bit lengthy but I wanted to get a bit personal. So are you an extrovert? do you think you’ve faced any of the above challenges? comment below
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Ohh Grace, i can relate to every single thing you wrote in this post, a little too much. In addition, we tend to compare ourselves to people who are gentle and wish we were them. Thank God for speaking my identity over me, and letting me know that he made me exactly how he wanted me to be. The world needs gentle, orderly people and loud, uncoordinated extroverts just the same!
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OH yes I forgot to add that part do true… Thank for your comment… it went deep
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Love those trouser! Looking for something like this in red that won’t break the bank!!
I love your humour and your personality, you make everyone welcomed. I have met you a few times but you were really welcoming!
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Hey Mife,
Thank you so much, your comment makes me feel thankful about this person called Grace
Author
I really like this post, as you touched on both the up-sides and down-sides of extroversion.
I like to think i'm an ambivert, although my extroversion vastly overshadows my introversion. One thing i've noticed about extroverts is that we tend to give the best advice to others facing difficult personal problems, but find it hard to apply the same in our case. Or is it just me? 😀
Oh, we also get the "your mouth will put you into trouble' talk most times. 😉
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My dear, tell me about it. It's exciting to see that there are areas I didn't cover and now y'all brought it up I'm like yesss and that too… hahahah
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Plus I got the pants from DMP, I have a few post about it here
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Exactly. I really feel what you are talking about. Though I try to wear a mask to conceal my emotions when I comes to the opposite sex because I don’t want to get hurt.
I’m a lifestyle and Inspirational blogger too. Please do check out my blog.
http://www.upfrontbylr.com
Author
Hehehe, over the years I've mastered the art of telling people I like especially the opposite sex, how I feel and let them to interpret it in anyway they know how. I am definitely checking out your blog post
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I've always identified myself as an introvert. I became more people friendly during NYSC and the year after. But after relocating to New Jersey for my masters, I became more introverted than before. It's hard to be around people, go for networking events and just spend the whole day around people because asides the fact that I'm more of an introvert, I'm also claustrophobic. So I have a lot of moments. I started pacing myself recently in order to balance solitude, interactions and state of my mental health.
Author
Aww love… We do have something in common. Claustrophobic, yes I get to anxious around people especially in large crowds, so I barely attend events. I'm rather good at entering conversations in small groups and I think that is a decent way to opening up and feeling more comfortable
Author
It's really beautiful reading from you. Sometimes allowing strangers read your story and offer you kindness and support is better than asking for help from those you know. I relate to this post so much because I've also been forced to accept that I'm an extrovert regardless of the fact that I get shy when I've left the people I'm comfortable around. Before,when some things you listed above happen to me I feel it's just me it happens to,maybe because I'm weird or seen as unusual,now I know. From people seeing us as loud and uncultured to the guys seeing us as friendship goals only… I relate. I've also had this problem of not sharing what I'm going through with others because of how their eyes light with pity everytime they see you…when they finally find out that you're not perfect and you also go through pains. Also the issue of advising and helping others out of their problems but you dying in yours because you don't know who to tell- the case of knowing a lot of people and having very few friends. Sometimes, I also have this belief that nobody owes me anything and because of that, I'll prefer to stay on my own and cry about my problem or feel bad about myself than to let someone know what I'm going through. Also,we are seen as very chatty and talkative yet we are the most secretive individuals yet.
I'm really happy I read this, I have been able to blow off some steam.
I also started my blog so that I can ramble, let the world know what I'm going through so they stop feeling like we are the ones that has it all together. We need a lot of love,a lot of supportive people around us because we tend to get depressed easily.
P.S: I had always thought you were a cheerful,friendly introvert.
Author
HAHAHA, I took my time to comment on this because it literally took my post to another level. Thank you thank you thank you. This part "guys seeing us as friendship goals only". I fell off my seat. Thank you for your amazing comment I enjoyed reading all of it and it was so relate-able
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At some point I had to confirm that it wasn't me who wrote this. I can totally relate to this. I'm an extrovert and everyone thinks I have it all figured out. I get excited about things and put so much passion in it. People say I over do. The relationship side, ah no one wants to date me. They want to hang out with me and enjoy my crazy and happpy side but think it'll be a problem in a relationship. People tell me I have no worries and when I seek help they say I'm seeking attention. At some point I battled with depression which I had to force myself out because no one believed me. I had so many people around me but yet I was so lonely. When I try to be close to people they assume I already have so much friends so they don't want competition. Sometimes I'm just tired really. But oh well. I didn't choose the life, the life chose me.
Tonye
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Thanks for sharing your story and this is me realizing I'm not alone in this
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OMG ! This is the story of my life. Thanks for sharing!
http://www.tlmurban.com
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You're welcome