5 Ways to Overcome Self-Esteem Issues

Self-esteem is having a powerful “inner capability (positive or negative) attitude towards … self” (Rosenberg 1965, 30), and there are a lot of influential factors contributing to how we see ourselves. The factor impacting self-esteem has continued to evolve over the years, but few of them have remained unchanged- childhood upbringing, media and society, peer pressure, e.tc. (read more here). 
In today’s post, I will share a bit about my struggle with self-esteem, most of which was affected by my upbringing. I was a child who grew up with less and did not have a lot of privileges that allowed me fit into the social space(s). And then it became obvious that sometimes our upbringing can dictate the way our mind makes us feel in social settings, and in turn how we see ourselves.
Self-esteem can dictate a lot of our social behavior, from how we think, the clothes we wear, who we date and think we can date, who we can associate with, and so on. Overcoming a low self-esteem can be challenging, as it’s easy to fall back on gains when you’re thrown into a setting that is traumatic or reminds you of your upbringing.

So here is how I have worked to improve mine. As an adult, the one behavior that made me realize that I was struggling hard with self-esteem issues was that I failed at handling feedback. Especially ones that were negative, and will seek out positive affirmations from people who cared less about me or people I looked up to.

Now, the end-result of depending on people for positive affirmation, is that a negative comment in public would make you shrink yourself and that happened to me a number of times before I realized that I needed a sweeping intervention.

So, below are a few ways I have adjusted my lifestyle to build my confidence, which has improved my self-esteem considerably.

Ways of boosting your self-esteem

Write Down Your Little Achievements 

Write down things you’re confident about, what you have achieved with minimal or less effort, who benefited from it and how it made you feel. This is a very reassuring task to do often, to remind yourself of who you are. Write down the big things too, the ones that you achieved despite odds.

Take Ownership of Your Fears

Take ownership of your fears, and the things that made you feel insecure. Realize that people will form their bias opinions of you but that doesn’t take away your awesomeness.

Change the things you can to boost self-esteem:

Most individuals have their self-esteem or lack thereof by their physical appearance. For some of us, we don’t hit the societies standard of beauty and that may cause a cognitive dissonance, impacting our self-esteem. My advise is usually, if you have the means to change how you look and it makes you feel beautiful, then do so.

I used to struggle with my writing and I realized that my reading and writing habit was poor. Then, I made the drastic decision to invest in books and my writing this year, and I have began to see changes. Being a good writer has boosted my self-esteem and it only happened because I was willing to make necessary and hard changes to my habits.

Sorround Yourself with Positive People.

Surround yourself with people that reassure you of your self-worth. Words matter, and the voices you take to heart should come from the right people. Our mind can easily make mountains of molehill, so it is important to listen to people who can positively re-affirm us in ways that is uplifting.

“I advise people if you have the means to change how you look and it makes you feel beautiful, then do so” Tweet this

Accept Things You Cannot Change

I have in the past been less confident of my height and body size, and, unfortunately, these features are not something I can readily change. I still pass for a 15-year sometimes, or sometimes overlooked in social settings. But I have come to accept that as something I should live with and I dress up feeling like a 10. Some of us will never have the height or facial structure, or weight we wish for, but we can learn to live with it.

What tips can you add to this?


    • Grace Alex
      September 27, 2018 / 7:27 pm

      Thank you Feyi, for visiting

  1. Unknown
    September 25, 2018 / 8:17 pm

    First time opening and reading your blog… I'm inspired, yes if i had the means i would change a few things on me. Howver, knowing that our situation is sort of similar i feel more confident knowing I'm not the only 24yr old with a small body frame and height. Thank you for this

    • Grace Alex
      September 27, 2018 / 8:03 pm

      Hahah, aww I hope you get to visit more often. Having a small body frame is a struggle, but we will be alright.

    September 26, 2018 / 6:49 pm

    Dear,you look great!! ♡

    • Grace Alex
      September 27, 2018 / 8:07 pm

      Hey love,

      Thank you

  3. Anonymous
    September 26, 2018 / 7:19 pm

    With havin so much content and articles do you ever run into any problems of plagorism or copyright infringement?
    My blog has a lot of completely unique content I've either
    created myself or outsourced but it appears a lot of it is popping it up all over the internet without my authorization. Do you know
    any ways to help stop content from being ripped off?
    I'd definitely appreciate it.

    • Grace Alex
      September 27, 2018 / 8:12 pm

      It is really hard to control the level your content is ripped off. However, for pictures you can add a watermark and on your blog put a word that prohibits people from lifting your content.

  4. Unknown
    September 26, 2018 / 9:54 pm

    Yes. Some times we battle with self esteem so much we sometimes are scared to speak about it. Thanks for sharing your experience.

    • Grace Alex
      September 27, 2018 / 8:13 pm

      Self-esteem is a silent killer and I;m glad you appreciate my opinion on it.

  5. Anonymous
    September 27, 2018 / 1:01 am

    Generally I don't read article on blogs, however I would like to say that this write-up very forced me to take a look at and do
    so! Your writing taste has been amazed me. Thanks, very great article.

    • Grace Alex
      September 27, 2018 / 8:13 pm

      Thank you, I appreciate it.

  6. Anonymous
    September 27, 2018 / 4:36 am

    That is a great tip especially to those fresh to the blogosphere.
    Short but very precise information? Thank you for sharing this one.
    A must read article!

  7. Peachy👸🏼
    September 28, 2018 / 2:31 pm

    Well deciphered 😍👸🏼