So I decided on this post, to provide an outlet to vent out how I feel on the inside, knowing someone was going to read and relate to it. I am an extrovert, or am I? People tend to see me as one, heck my dad sees me as one, but truth is I’ve never considered myself an extrovert.
Extroverts go through a lot of challenges, one which many of their friends and associates never feel adds up to their persona. To the world an extrovert has life figured out, that may be, because we share our experiences in exaggerated terms. We tend to talk, laugh and share a bit more than your regular person.
For extroverts like myself, (if I’m to accept the box I’ve been put in ) people tend not to take us to seriously until they see the worse side of our personalities show up and they kind of understand we are humans too. This is the beginning of many of our troubles, not knowing how to balance the beautiful emotions of our lives. We are too happy or too sad, no where in between and the story continues.
We also tend to say up how we feel about anything and everything and for a female (like me), that may be pretty bad and considered forthcoming. For example, if I met anyone lets say a male, in the first week, I already consider us friends. So we start a conversation second week and then I go “I miss you“, because I genuinely do. World people (Nigerian slang) have said don’t do that, so I am considered trouble and then he misinterprets my words as a hit on him and then he runs. I do this with female friends too and their reaction is likely similar, they get into much of their feelings and see you as a nuisance. (grateful or my bed and space)
This brings me then to my second or third point, we just never seem to be the date-able or marriageable ones. Its either we are too outspoken to be single or too outspoken to be considered for a date, so we are on the loosing end of both streaks.
Unknowingly to some people, we suffer from depression, because we pretty much try to talk a lot to ignore it, laugh a lot to play it off or make people laugh to fill in the gaps in our own lives. Then we get to this point where we are helpless in our own situation but cant call out for help because hey, who takes us seriously? (I’m a bit lucky to have people around me who value how I feel)
We have our insecurities: Everyone thinks we have life figured out, but we have our own insecurities, maybe more than people can visually conjure in their minds, I’ll be doing a blog post after this about my insecurities so watch out.
I am pretty sure by now the my whole graduate class knows me as the girl who talks a bit much, uncoordinated-Ly and to anyone. I’m unsure as to if this was the reputation I intended to create coming to America, but I guess we can’t really suppress who we really are.
Yes I am open and initiate interactions and often make people feel comfortable with sharing their live experiences with me, but on a general basis I love to be alone and my happy moments are usually with myself. I have thoughts and sometimes they run wild and dark and in my quiet moments I relish and act out who I think I am and then go out to the world and assume a different persona.
Today’s write up is a bit lengthy but I wanted to get a bit personal. So are you an extrovert? do you think you’ve faced any of the above challenges? comment below